Schiddy Become Cliché!

When I think about blogs, I think about either board housewives or househusbands (nice save, right?) writing about the cute thing their kid did that day:
‘Then Pookie pulled out his thumb and asked “chocolate?”’

The other stereotype I have is middle aged guys writing about their high school or college exploits:
‘Then Bluto pulled out his thumb and in a drunken haze asked, “Chocolate?”’

But "True-dat" as the schidlets say, there is a wealth of information from my college days. I learned a lot, and I am morally obligated to tell you about it. Here is a list of some of the things I learned. Future Schiddy rants will provide more details.

1. I learned Freud was a lot smarter than people give him credit for.
2. I learned how many squares of t.p. decent people need to use to wipe to do their business in the bathroom (5 squares).
3. I learned it is possible to start a cult that worships a stuffed animal. College kids love Snuggles the Anti-Christ.
4. I learned soccer nets are hard to see at night when it is raining and dark and you are trying to run home from an outdoor party.
5. I learned toga outfits don’t keep you warm when it is raining and dark and you trying to run home from a kegger party in October that is 4 miles from your dorm room.
6. I learned to keep a close eye on my rides home from parties.
7. I learned why high school friends who went to colleges in Wisconsin came back after their freshman year twenty pounds heavier.
8. I learned about preservative in Dominos Pizza.
9. I learned how to grow bacteria cultures in a cup of beer.
10. I learned during times of peace, it is better to have engineers as your friends then future CIA operatives…or whatever Uncle Curt ended up becoming. Shining several thousand volts of light at someone in a drunken stupor can scare the bejeezus out of them and turn them into coward who run to there mommy, even if they do know how to kill you with there hands 8 different ways.
11.I grew to dispise the cheapest keg beef from Zips Liquor, Busch Light Beer.
12. learned you don’t have to be cool to start trends. (Come on everybody, get out on the dance floor and do the “Doug Thorpe!”)
13. I learned if you are ever in a Winona State Cafeteria circa 1983, and the North Stars are playing the Black Hawks, you should probably be wearing a helmet or some type of protective gear.
14. I learned biking across the river from Winona to Wisconsin, strapping a case of PBR to the back of your bike, and biking back is good exercise. But then you probably should just give the beer away. Whatever you do don’t drink most of it and then sleep on the top bunk of your dorm room. Especially if that dorm room is equipped with gravity, and your roommate’s bunk with a comforter made by his grandma is right below you.
15. I learned you should not pour beer in your eyes.
16. I learned the attics of fraternity houses are the stuff of Hollywood horror movies.
17. I learned the drain pipes of fraternity house kitchens are the stuff of Stephen King novels.
18. I learned the fraternity brothers at Delta Tau Delta fraternity houses are the stuff of Stephen K…err John Belushi films.
19. In grad school I learned to avoid group projects, and learned grad professors really like to assign group projects. Instead of 20 items to grade, they only have to grade 4!
20. I learned not to apply Ben Gay on certain areas of my body. It burns. Oh does it burn!
21. I learn when your roommate modifies a Lysol can, taking time to " invent" a new aerosol air freshener spray brand called “Harsh Away”, and sprays it at you when you walk in the door: it is time to either start taking your personal hygiene more seriously, move to a different room, or take a serious look at your diet.

“Ah Glory days, they will pass you by. Glory days, in the wink of a young girl’s eye. Glory days.”

I know you’re excited to hear more Schiddy Nation. Stay tuned.