I’m going to let the Schiddy nation in on a little secret. After I hug the kids and put them to bed, and Mrs. Schiddy drops off to sleep and night, I don cape, tights, and mask, and go out and fight crime into the wee hours of the morning. For I in fact belong to the Justice League of America, and am the registered Batman for the Twin Cities. It is a thankless job, fighting crime incognito. I never truly get the recognition or compensation I deserve. So when you wake up in the morning, and your kids bike that was left in the front yard is still there, your unlocked car has not been trashed, and your women have not been pillaged in the middle of the night…well you have me to thank for that.
Be that as it may, my nightly prowess at thwarting evil villains and their various nefarious schemes is not the topic of this Schiddy rant. Far be it for me to blow my own horn, or blow my secret identity as The Batman. This Schiddy will instead focus on an equally important part of Batman lore and culture. That is, the forgotten art of how to play Batman and Robin.
When I was a young lad growing up in N.E. Rochester, I spent the day at a family day care provider affectionately dubbed, “Gramma Carrol.”. From the time I was a baby until kindergarten, my sister and I spent most weekdays at her house between the hours of 8:00am and 3:00pm. At Gramma Carrol's I primarily played three games: Cowboys and Indians, Play Dough, and Batman and Robin. Oh, occasionally we would play Underdog and Sweet Polly Purebred to mix it up a little (our version of “doctor”), Once in a while the Jodi, the girl down the street would come over with her Gumby and Pokey dolls and we would play with those, (another version of “doctor”) but that was a fairly rare. For the most part those first 3 activities were our main events.
Playing Cowboys and Indians was pretty lame. You really do need several people to have a good game of cowboys and Indians, otherwise with this war-type game you have too many imaginary participants and it gets pretty abstract for a 3 or 4 year old. I could handle it, but my play mates did not seem to understand how I could shoot hundreds of pretend Indians, get three or four imaginary arrows shot into me, but just have “flesh wounds” and still end up being the hero.
Then of course there was Play Dough. Oh how I loved the smell of fresh Play dough in the morning. Unfortunately I loved it a little too much, and Gramma Carrol would have to keep and eye on me so I did not eat the whole jar. The Play Dough with the Red dye in it was the best. Yum yum. Shortly after I started eating red Play Dough I started to grow a third nipple, but that’s another story for another time.
But of course the coolest, most fun game was Batman and Robin. You only need three people to play, and in a pinch you could use two. Here are the rules of engagement, Circa Rochester Mn, 1969.
Hank has to be Batman. Why? Because it is my game.
Little Annie Haugen was usually Robin. Why? She was a year younger than me, and if she could understand me, she usually did what I told her to do. (Sidebar: when little Annie grew up, she became this totally beautiful high school student who would not give me the time of day, and usually looked at me with scorn. She actually ended up going to the U. of M. when I also was attending it, and again continued to ignore me and give me looks of distain when I would see her on campus. The reason for this may become apparent as these rules are listed.)
You had to have capes. You simply can not play Batman and Robin without a cape. Towels, piece of material…whatever, this prop is essential.
You had to try to run as fast as you could to make the cape fly up behind as you ran. Just like in the comic books. Way cool. Again, if you can not make that cape flutter up behind you…you might as well not even play. Because capes are cool.
Masks were cool as well, but not essential. We all knew who Batman was, after all. (see the first rule).
You need access to a phone or a prop you can pretend is a phone. Otherwise #7 is not possible.
Your adventure starts by sitting around the Bat Cave. Then the red Bat Phone rings. This phone is directly connected to Commissioner Gordon’s office.
When the phone rings, you must pick it up in a very serious voice and say, “Yes Commissioner Gordon.” Pause, and then say “We’ll be right there.” Then you slam the phone down and say, “To the Bat mobile!” From there you sprint back and forth through several rooms, running fast enough to make your cape fly out behind you, until you reach a piece of furniture that is now the Batmobile.
As you run to the Batmobile with your cape flying behind you because you are running at super speed, you must loudly Sing, “Da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, BATMAN and ROBIN!” really loud.
Batman always drives the Bat mobile. Sorry Annie no you can not drive. And no, you can not be Bat Girl instead of Robin!
Upon arriving at Police Commissioner Gordon’s office, you learn the dastardly deed that has been committed, and which Arch villain has committed it. Usually the Joker, the Penguin, Riddler, or Catwoman are responsible for the heinous act(s).
Following the visit to Commissioner Gordon’s office, Batman and Robin head back to the Bat Cave to press some buttons on a big electronic panel that may or may not be a computer..., which somehow gives you the location of the bad guy’s hide out. This forensic tactic is widely practiced today; I see it all the time on CSI Miami. Batman and Robin were way ahead of there time.
It is nice to have an actual person now enter the game as the arch villain, but not necessary. A throw pillow or big stuff animal can also function as the villain, in which case Hank will make the villain’s voice and dialogue. Also in the process of catching the arch villain, there should usually be at least two knock down drag out fist fights where Batman and Robin battle with various dastardly villain and there villainous thugs (other throw pillows or what have you). A good Super Hero punch should actually have enough force to propel the pillow (villain) across the room, where they will land unconscious. As they are pillows, sometime it is hard for even imaginative Batman and Robins to tell, so it may require several punches with Super Hero level impact to secure victory.
Batman always gets to put the final punch on the Arch Villain. Robin is a side-kick after all. And no Annie you can not be Catwoman.
You can take a break in the game for Gramma Carroll’s sugar cookies and milk.
And the most important rule of all…when you grow up you must pass the game and rules of engagement on to your children. Now… “To the Batmobile!!!!!!”
Be that as it may, my nightly prowess at thwarting evil villains and their various nefarious schemes is not the topic of this Schiddy rant. Far be it for me to blow my own horn, or blow my secret identity as The Batman. This Schiddy will instead focus on an equally important part of Batman lore and culture. That is, the forgotten art of how to play Batman and Robin.
When I was a young lad growing up in N.E. Rochester, I spent the day at a family day care provider affectionately dubbed, “Gramma Carrol.”. From the time I was a baby until kindergarten, my sister and I spent most weekdays at her house between the hours of 8:00am and 3:00pm. At Gramma Carrol's I primarily played three games: Cowboys and Indians, Play Dough, and Batman and Robin. Oh, occasionally we would play Underdog and Sweet Polly Purebred to mix it up a little (our version of “doctor”), Once in a while the Jodi, the girl down the street would come over with her Gumby and Pokey dolls and we would play with those, (another version of “doctor”) but that was a fairly rare. For the most part those first 3 activities were our main events.
Playing Cowboys and Indians was pretty lame. You really do need several people to have a good game of cowboys and Indians, otherwise with this war-type game you have too many imaginary participants and it gets pretty abstract for a 3 or 4 year old. I could handle it, but my play mates did not seem to understand how I could shoot hundreds of pretend Indians, get three or four imaginary arrows shot into me, but just have “flesh wounds” and still end up being the hero.
Then of course there was Play Dough. Oh how I loved the smell of fresh Play dough in the morning. Unfortunately I loved it a little too much, and Gramma Carrol would have to keep and eye on me so I did not eat the whole jar. The Play Dough with the Red dye in it was the best. Yum yum. Shortly after I started eating red Play Dough I started to grow a third nipple, but that’s another story for another time.
But of course the coolest, most fun game was Batman and Robin. You only need three people to play, and in a pinch you could use two. Here are the rules of engagement, Circa Rochester Mn, 1969.
Hank has to be Batman. Why? Because it is my game.
Little Annie Haugen was usually Robin. Why? She was a year younger than me, and if she could understand me, she usually did what I told her to do. (Sidebar: when little Annie grew up, she became this totally beautiful high school student who would not give me the time of day, and usually looked at me with scorn. She actually ended up going to the U. of M. when I also was attending it, and again continued to ignore me and give me looks of distain when I would see her on campus. The reason for this may become apparent as these rules are listed.)
You had to have capes. You simply can not play Batman and Robin without a cape. Towels, piece of material…whatever, this prop is essential.
You had to try to run as fast as you could to make the cape fly up behind as you ran. Just like in the comic books. Way cool. Again, if you can not make that cape flutter up behind you…you might as well not even play. Because capes are cool.
Masks were cool as well, but not essential. We all knew who Batman was, after all. (see the first rule).
You need access to a phone or a prop you can pretend is a phone. Otherwise #7 is not possible.
Your adventure starts by sitting around the Bat Cave. Then the red Bat Phone rings. This phone is directly connected to Commissioner Gordon’s office.
When the phone rings, you must pick it up in a very serious voice and say, “Yes Commissioner Gordon.” Pause, and then say “We’ll be right there.” Then you slam the phone down and say, “To the Bat mobile!” From there you sprint back and forth through several rooms, running fast enough to make your cape fly out behind you, until you reach a piece of furniture that is now the Batmobile.
As you run to the Batmobile with your cape flying behind you because you are running at super speed, you must loudly Sing, “Da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, BATMAN and ROBIN!” really loud.
Batman always drives the Bat mobile. Sorry Annie no you can not drive. And no, you can not be Bat Girl instead of Robin!
Upon arriving at Police Commissioner Gordon’s office, you learn the dastardly deed that has been committed, and which Arch villain has committed it. Usually the Joker, the Penguin, Riddler, or Catwoman are responsible for the heinous act(s).
Following the visit to Commissioner Gordon’s office, Batman and Robin head back to the Bat Cave to press some buttons on a big electronic panel that may or may not be a computer..., which somehow gives you the location of the bad guy’s hide out. This forensic tactic is widely practiced today; I see it all the time on CSI Miami. Batman and Robin were way ahead of there time.
It is nice to have an actual person now enter the game as the arch villain, but not necessary. A throw pillow or big stuff animal can also function as the villain, in which case Hank will make the villain’s voice and dialogue. Also in the process of catching the arch villain, there should usually be at least two knock down drag out fist fights where Batman and Robin battle with various dastardly villain and there villainous thugs (other throw pillows or what have you). A good Super Hero punch should actually have enough force to propel the pillow (villain) across the room, where they will land unconscious. As they are pillows, sometime it is hard for even imaginative Batman and Robins to tell, so it may require several punches with Super Hero level impact to secure victory.
Batman always gets to put the final punch on the Arch Villain. Robin is a side-kick after all. And no Annie you can not be Catwoman.
You can take a break in the game for Gramma Carroll’s sugar cookies and milk.
And the most important rule of all…when you grow up you must pass the game and rules of engagement on to your children. Now… “To the Batmobile!!!!!!”
posted by hschiddy @ 1:45 PM
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