True Mascots

The best Freaks and Geeks episode ever may be The Mascot. Why? Because that huge headed mascot is so silly! Check it out on You tube. And you know what else. The guest actor playing the mascot student is a very young Shia LaBea0uf.


But that is not what got me thinking about Mascots. For that we need to go back a week or two, when I was reading in the sports page about Oakland University almost upsetting 4 big ten college basketball teams this year.


'Is that such a big deal? I asked myself. I mean Oakland and Northern California in general is steeped with basketball tradition and must be a hotbed for basketball recruits. ' But then later in the artricle in noted that the Golden Bears were located in Central Michigan.


'Really? There is an Oakland in the Midwest?' But that isn't really what caught my attention. What really got me was their nickname: The Golden Bears.



O.k., I'm willing to give you that at one time approx. 200 years ago the region where Oakland Michigan is may have been habitat for bears. Maybe to some extent the bear population became part of the local lore, mythology, culture, whatever. But how many generations have gone by since we last saw a bear? Even one scrawny, garbage strewn, scruffy little black bear roaming around the area of the Oakland University Campus? I'm guessing at least 5 or 6 generations. And a mighty grizzly like "Golden Bear?" Ummm, that just has not happen. So what possessed the committee however many years ago who decided on a mascot to choose the Golden Bears as their mascot? Were they all big cereal fans of the Sugar Golden Crisp Bear when they were growing up as kids? Maybe that cereal is made at a cereal plant near by? it just makes no sense. So I started looking around at some of the mascots and nicknames for high schools and colleges. And I found that in most cases, the mascot is not representative of any part of the community or associated with a local identity from that community that the school is a part of. So for your viewing pleasure: I have picked some schools and their mascots. As a public service to those schools I will be offering suggestions for what there mascots truely should be.


1. Ok. This first one is obligatory, and not original. But it needs to be said. The Edina Hornets. And the students of Edina want to be associated with stinging loud ugly nuisance bugs that won't leave my pop alone in August and September because...why? The better albiet not original name, and obvious choice, of course, is the Edina High School Cake Eaters. As in let them eat it...as long as they are not outside in Aug. or Sept. when those pesky hornets are flying around.


2. TheWoodbury Royals. Lots of blue bloods over there in the east metro...huh? We all know what Woodbury is really all about: It should be the Woodbury High School Soccer Moms. The mascot could drive out onto the field wearing "mom jeans" in a minivan.


3. The Hopkins Royals. Again, maybe your typical Hopkins High School student is related to the Duke of Earl 6 generations ago 3x removed, but generally the raseberry king and queen is as close to royalty as Hopkins gets. Might I suggest: The Hopkins High School Recruiters. (See boy's basketball program).


4. The University of Mn. Golden Gophers: Lets get real. I've seen gophers. There is nothing "Golden" about them. My mom as a young farm girl used to trap them and turn them in for a dime a pelt when they were hunted down in the 40's because they were ruining crops in S.E. Minnesota. As her mom used to say, lets call a spade a spade. In Minnesota It is cold up here, we are under 4 feet of snow, and other than Hopkins High School, we can't recruit athletes here to save our collective sports fan egos. We are the Mn. Frozen Field Mice. Runner Up: "The MN tobacco settlement funds." This was the last major victory this state had. Don't mess with our class action law suits baby!


5. The St. Cloud Huskies: This is a variation on a theme I know, but Huskies are sled dogs. Right. Like Oakland's Golden Bears, St. Cloud does not have a glorious "sled dog" history. Perhaps the University of Minnesota Duluth would be more appropriate for these dogs of more northern climates, and you could have the Bull Dogs. Do colleges really want obediant hairy dogs as their iconic image? Perhaps. Maybe Huskies doesn't refer to Canines and is more a reference to the "freshman fifteen" that accumulates after the habitual keg party circuit is joined. And who was St. Cloud anyway? The patron saint of weather fronts? Who names these towns? Yes I know St. Cloud is a perfectly good historical name and I'm sure St. Cloud was a fine and dandy saint from France, but it just doesn't seem to fit that town. Therefore, I propose we rename the town to Not-quite-that-Far-Go, and because of their proximity to I-94 they be renamed the Highwaymen. Or highwaywoman. or Highwaypeople. Come on people, this is not that hard.


6. Notre Dame Fightin' Irish. I understand the history. Catholic. Irish. Yeah I get it. I'm am one. And most Irish are proud of their famous tempers. But the "Fightin' Irish" tends to ring more hollow and lose its relevance more with each passing year. I propose: The University of Notre Dame's "The Most Excellent Network Contract Negotiators" for their ability to sign NBC to a long term contract to air all their football games nationally when no one cares. It is kind of a long nickname, but it will grow on you.


7. The Gustavus Gusties (sorry Patrick), St. Thomas Tommies, St. Johns Johnnies, Augsburg Auggies. Sorry. This Hank Hanky thinks you need to get an original thought or two, MIAC. Thank God some of of you put a little thought into this. The Carlton Carlties and the, Hamline Hammies, or the St. Ben'Bennies might have driven me to committ a mortal sin. So I will leave it up to you guys, figure it out and get back to me. Even continueing the trend of totally bizarre animal would be better than what you came up so far. I don't think anyone has picked Golden Polar Bears, Blue Baby Fur Seals, or Silver Lions in your conference yet. Speaking of silver...I have one suggestion for Augsburg. Since I am an alumni and used to live on a house on their campus back in my younger days. That house had seen better days and has since been demolished and replaced by a parking lot. When I lived in that house, it had several pest variety, including some prize winning "silver fish" bugs. University of Augsburg Silver Fish has a nice ring to it.


So thats all I have for now. But there are plenty more Bilikens, Horned Toads, Hoyas, and Buckeyes out there. Not to mention that every other school has picked the "Spartans." And I haven't even touched on some pro names like the Redskins or Indians...so let me what mascots and nickname you have observed that need to go...and what you would replace them with. Lets get real with these mascots!

The year was 1978

John Adams Junior High School in NorthWest Rochstester loomed like dark brown creativity-crushing factory on the distant skyline.
Chris Milbrandt and I were walking to school. It was about 10 below, but with the windchill factor it was roughly 373 below Kelvin. Abso fucking lute zero cold.
And we were too cool. Too cool to wear hats. Because we were in Junior High School. And we had our Junior High School parted-down-the-middle-David-Cassidy-blow-dried-feathered-hair. And putting a hat on one's head does nothing for the feathered hair, which was what I was pretty sure would get Diane Krom to notice me.
Lord knows I noticed her. Man I know I was in 8th grade and it was jut a crush, but looking back at my journal years later I definitely needed to take a step back and check out my other options. But as they say, "Juice is wasted on the young." Or maybe that was "youth is wasted on the young." My hearing always hasn't been that great.
We trudged on through the ice and crunchy gray February snow. Adolescence was catching up to me now, and with each trudge my ears got closer to frostbite stage and my Junior High School parted-down-the-middle-David Cassidy-blow-dried-hair started to look more like Curly Farm boy hair. Although I was a suburban Rochstester Minnesota boy, I was only one generation removed from Rural American and my bang were given me away.
Gradually the factory-like smoke stakes of J.A.J.H.S. grew larger and we got close to school.
Not much conversation from Chris, it was too cold today.
"Going camping this weekend with Scouts?" I asked.
"Nope, Hokenson is taking the indian dancers to Wisconsin for some event, he replied remotely."
I said nothing. Chris' dad was a Scout Master and his older brother had been an Eagle Scout, so when we were younger Chris had been all gung-ho about scouting but lately I had come to sense that it no longer was much fun for him. Despite being good friends since we were preschoolers, we had ended up joining different troops, and I always thought he should have joined our local elementary school's sponsored troop.
"What do you got going today here?" I offered again gesturing to the factory in front of us.
Chris perked up a little and started talking about a project he was doing in Woods class.
Some kind of bird feeder that was three times better than what I was doing. This guy knows how to work with his hands, I thought as we approached the front door.
"See ya." he said as we headed into the dimly lit locked-lined halls. At least I think he said that,
My ears were as redder than a redneck's farmers tan and they were doing this weird tingling burning thing. I took that as a good sign though and headed to my locker, where Jay Schroeder, whose locker was next to mine, was standing in the way talking to Sue Buerlenfeind. I wormed my arm behind his back and started to work my lock. Jay gave me a sidelong sneer, and moved an eighth of an inch to allow me to try to work the combo a little easier. Jay had serious Junior High School parted-down-the-middle-David-Cassidy-blow-dried-featherd-hair. Out of nowhere Diane Krom walked by and smiled...at Jay, not me.
Yippee I thought, yanking up on my locker latch. It would not open. The first bell rang. It was going to be a great day.

Next Chapter: "It was about that time that I started eating cheese."

What do you Revere?

A scout is reverent. Ask any boy scout what that means and they will say, "going to church."
Ask that scout why they go to church, and they will say,"To worship God."
Ask a scout how they worship God in church and they will say, "by praying to him."
God, church, worship, prayer. They can add up to reverence, but don't always. They definitely don't equal it.
What do you revere?
i revere metamorphosis in nature.
i revere the sound a ball makes when it is hit with a wooden bat.
i revere creation, and don't worry about naming the creator.
i revere the reverent.
i revere the innocence of a baby, the strength of a lion, and the same
strength of a slight flower that gets deluged by a storm, and then opens it's petals to the sun the next day.
i revere human strength and weakness in the context of an unforgiving universe.
i revere my family and friends.
i revere they joy of a beautiful smile.
i revere the fleeting nature of life.

Packed with Peanuts, Snickers Really Satisfies

As far as candy bars go, Snickers are pretty good. Definitely top 5, but are they really # 1?
I'm chompin' on one now and man it is good. This might be the best Snickers I have ever eaten.
Why?It was a mana from the Gods Snickers. A Snickers I did not know I had, but found today in the storage bin between the two front seats of my car. It was like it was free or something! Anything that is free is the best! Free beer, free candy bars, free lunch...its all good! Except for used tube socks. let those be.
Here are my top 5 candy bars.
5. Snickers dark chocolate wit almonts.. This candy bar has it all, almonds, strong dark chocolate, nuget, caramelle.
4. Snickers, the original. Ok I admit the dark almond one is better, but I have to give a nod to tradition here.
3. Nestles Crunch. The chocolate is fairly inferior. ButI can't help it. They really are, for some reason, so much fun to munch.
2. 3 Muskateers. Has there ever been a funner candy bar to eat? (as opposed to munch...see #3). First you carefully bite away the chocolate hull of the bar and then devour a huge mouthful of fluffy cloud-cult like flavor within! Its almost naughty it is so good.
1. Local candy bar makes good. Pearson's Nut Goody. The maple baby. Thats all I've got to say.

Worst candy bars?
Almond Joy and Mars bars (sorry Undertones), followed closely by Butter fingers.
Disagree? let me know why.

Schiddy Become Cliché!

When I think about blogs, I think about either board housewives or househusbands (nice save, right?) writing about the cute thing their kid did that day:
‘Then Pookie pulled out his thumb and asked “chocolate?”’

The other stereotype I have is middle aged guys writing about their high school or college exploits:
‘Then Bluto pulled out his thumb and in a drunken haze asked, “Chocolate?”’

But "True-dat" as the schidlets say, there is a wealth of information from my college days. I learned a lot, and I am morally obligated to tell you about it. Here is a list of some of the things I learned. Future Schiddy rants will provide more details.

1. I learned Freud was a lot smarter than people give him credit for.
2. I learned how many squares of t.p. decent people need to use to wipe to do their business in the bathroom (5 squares).
3. I learned it is possible to start a cult that worships a stuffed animal. College kids love Snuggles the Anti-Christ.
4. I learned soccer nets are hard to see at night when it is raining and dark and you are trying to run home from an outdoor party.
5. I learned toga outfits don’t keep you warm when it is raining and dark and you trying to run home from a kegger party in October that is 4 miles from your dorm room.
6. I learned to keep a close eye on my rides home from parties.
7. I learned why high school friends who went to colleges in Wisconsin came back after their freshman year twenty pounds heavier.
8. I learned about preservative in Dominos Pizza.
9. I learned how to grow bacteria cultures in a cup of beer.
10. I learned during times of peace, it is better to have engineers as your friends then future CIA operatives…or whatever Uncle Curt ended up becoming. Shining several thousand volts of light at someone in a drunken stupor can scare the bejeezus out of them and turn them into coward who run to there mommy, even if they do know how to kill you with there hands 8 different ways.
11.I grew to dispise the cheapest keg beef from Zips Liquor, Busch Light Beer.
12. learned you don’t have to be cool to start trends. (Come on everybody, get out on the dance floor and do the “Doug Thorpe!”)
13. I learned if you are ever in a Winona State Cafeteria circa 1983, and the North Stars are playing the Black Hawks, you should probably be wearing a helmet or some type of protective gear.
14. I learned biking across the river from Winona to Wisconsin, strapping a case of PBR to the back of your bike, and biking back is good exercise. But then you probably should just give the beer away. Whatever you do don’t drink most of it and then sleep on the top bunk of your dorm room. Especially if that dorm room is equipped with gravity, and your roommate’s bunk with a comforter made by his grandma is right below you.
15. I learned you should not pour beer in your eyes.
16. I learned the attics of fraternity houses are the stuff of Hollywood horror movies.
17. I learned the drain pipes of fraternity house kitchens are the stuff of Stephen King novels.
18. I learned the fraternity brothers at Delta Tau Delta fraternity houses are the stuff of Stephen K…err John Belushi films.
19. In grad school I learned to avoid group projects, and learned grad professors really like to assign group projects. Instead of 20 items to grade, they only have to grade 4!
20. I learned not to apply Ben Gay on certain areas of my body. It burns. Oh does it burn!
21. I learn when your roommate modifies a Lysol can, taking time to " invent" a new aerosol air freshener spray brand called “Harsh Away”, and sprays it at you when you walk in the door: it is time to either start taking your personal hygiene more seriously, move to a different room, or take a serious look at your diet.

“Ah Glory days, they will pass you by. Glory days, in the wink of a young girl’s eye. Glory days.”

I know you’re excited to hear more Schiddy Nation. Stay tuned.

Canada I'm On My Way

I wrote this earlier this year, so sorry to have no obligatory verse about bridge funding or wide stances. Maybe there is a re-write in the future. I did not check earlier posts to see if this made it in to one of those Schiddy nation, so I apologize if I have put this out on this thing comprised of tubes and wires before.
"Give me a 'C'....a bouncy 'C'....

Canada I'm On My Way
(Sing to the tune of “I’m Proud to Be an American.” Inspired by Mn. House of Reps and T. Paw)

And I'm proud to be an American,
Where at least I know I'm free,
And I won't forget men who fought for me,
As long as they are not in poverty,

And I'll proudly STAND UP next to you,
If you keep my taxes down,
Cause there aint no doubt about it,
Headin' for Canada-I'm leavin' town.

From the Stadiums at the U of M
To tax breaks for the wealthy,
Gov. Pawlenty's no new taxes pledge,
Sounds a lot like hypocrisy,

And I'll proudly STAND UP next you,
At the Greyhound station here today,
They called my bus, I'm headin' north,
Canada I'm on my way, eh.

So now our MN. Care,
Has become oxymoronic,
I think Republican's with insurance,
Should get prescribed a high colonic,

And I'll probably THROW UP next you,
In a public toilet stall,
Cause you can't afford a doctor,
And I can't stomach our State's fall.

Canada I'm on my way, eh.

Reposting of Batman and Robin

Sorry had some technical difficulties with previous posting. This should be easier to read

I’m going to let the Schiddy nation in on a little secret. After I hug the kids and put them to bed, and Mrs. Schiddy drops off to sleep and night, I don cape, tights, and mask, and go out and fight crime into the wee hours of the morning. For I in fact belong to the Justice League of America, and am the registered Batman for the Twin Cities. It is a thankless job, fighting crime incognito. I never truly get the recognition or compensation I deserve. So when you wake up in the morning, and your kids bike that was left in the front yard is still there, your unlocked car has not been trashed, and your women have not been pillaged in the middle of the night…well you have me to thank for that.

Be that as it may, my nightly prowess at thwarting evil villains and their various nefarious schemes is not the topic of this Schiddy rant. Far be it for me to blow my own horn, or blow my secret identity as The Batman. This Schiddy will instead focus on an equally important part of Batman lore and culture. That is, the forgotten art of how to play Batman and Robin.

When I was a young lad growing up in N.E. Rochester, I spent the day at a family day care provider affectionately dubbed, “Gramma Carrol.”. From the time I was a baby until kindergarten, my sister and I spent most weekdays at her house between the hours of 8:00am and 3:00pm. At Gramma Carrol's I primarily played three games: Cowboys and Indians, Play Dough, and Batman and Robin. Oh, occasionally we would play Underdog and Sweet Polly Purebred to mix it up a little (our version of “doctor”), Once in a while the Jodi, the girl down the street would come over with her Gumby and Pokey dolls and we would play with those, (another version of “doctor”) but that was a fairly rare. For the most part those first 3 activities were our main events.
Playing Cowboys and Indians was pretty lame. You really do need several people to have a good game of cowboys and Indians, otherwise with this war-type game you have too many imaginary participants and it gets pretty abstract for a 3 or 4 year old. I could handle it, but my play mates did not seem to understand how I could shoot hundreds of pretend Indians, get three or four imaginary arrows shot into me, but just have “flesh wounds” and still end up being the hero.
Then of course there was Play Dough. Oh how I loved the smell of fresh Play dough in the morning. Unfortunately I loved it a little too much, and Gramma Carrol would have to keep and eye on me so I did not eat the whole jar. The Play Dough with the Red dye in it was the best. Yum yum. Shortly after I started eating red Play Dough I started to grow a third nipple, but that’s another story for another time.
But of course the coolest, most fun game was Batman and Robin. You only need three people to play, and in a pinch you could use two. Here are the rules of engagement, Circa Rochester Mn, 1969.
1. Hank has to be Batman. Why? Because it is my game.
2. Little Annie Haugen was usually Robin. Why? She was a year younger than me, and if she could understand me, she usually did what I told her to do. (Sidebar: when little Annie grew up, she became this totally beautiful high school student who would not give me the time of day, and usually looked at me with scorn. She actually ended up going to the U. of M. when I also was attending it, and again continued to ignore me and give me looks of distain when I would see her on campus. The reason for this may become apparent as these rules are listed.)
3. You had to have capes. You simply can not play Batman and Robin without a cape. Towels, piece of material…whatever, this prop is essential.
4. You had to try to run as fast as you could to make the cape fly up behind as you ran. Just like in the comic books. Way cool. Again, if you can not make that cape flutter up behind you…you might as well not even play. Because capes are cool.
5. Masks were cool as well, but not essential. We all knew who Batman was, after all. (see the first rule).
6. You need access to a phone or a prop you can pretend is a phone. Otherwise #7 is not possible.
7. Your adventure starts by sitting around the Bat Cave. Then the red Bat Phone rings. This phone is directly connected to Commissioner Gordon’s office.
8. When the phone rings, you must pick it up in a very serious voice and say, “Yes Commissioner Gordon.” Pause, and then say “We’ll be right there.” Then you slam the phone down and say, “To the Bat mobile!” From there you sprint back and forth through several rooms, running fast enough to make your cape fly out behind you, until you reach a piece of furniture that is now the Batmobile.
9.As you run to the Batmobile with your cape flying behind you because you are running at super speed, you must loudly Sing, “Da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, BATMAN and ROBIN!” really loud.
10. Batman always drives the Bat mobile. Sorry Annie no you can not drive. And no, you can not be Bat Girl instead of Robin!
11. Upon arriving at Police Commissioner Gordon’s office, you learn the dastardly deed that has been committed, and which Arch villain has committed it. Usually the Joker, the Penguin, Riddler, or Catwoman are responsible for the heinous act(s).
12. Following the visit to Commissioner Gordon’s office, Batman and Robin head back to the Bat Cave to press some buttons on a big electronic panel that may or may not be a computer..., which somehow gives you the location of the bad guy’s hide out. This forensic tactic is widely practiced today; I see it all the time on CSI Miami. Batman and Robin were way ahead of there time.
13. It is nice to have an actual person now enter the game as the arch villain, but not necessary. A throw pillow or big stuff animal can also function as the villain, in which case Hank will make the villain’s voice and dialogue. Also in the process of catching the arch villain, there should usually be at least two knock down drag out fist fights where Batman and Robin battle with various dastardly villain and there villainous thugs (other throw pillows or what have you). A good Super Hero punch should actually have enough force to propel the pillow (villain) across the room, where they will land unconscious. As they are pillows, sometime it is hard for even imaginative Batman and Robins to tell, so it may require several punches with Super Hero level impact to secure victory.
14. Batman always gets to put the final punch on the Arch Villain. Robin is a side-kick after all. And no Annie you can not be Catwoman.
15. You can take a break in the game for Gramma Carroll’s sugar cookies and milk.
16. And the most important rule of all…when you grow up you must pass the game and rules of engagement on to your children. Now… “To the Batmobile!!!!!!”

I’m going to let the Schiddy nation in on a little secret. After I hug the kids and put them to bed, and Mrs. Schiddy drops off to sleep and night, I don cape, tights, and mask, and go out and fight crime into the wee hours of the morning. For I in fact belong to the Justice League of America, and am the registered Batman for the Twin Cities. It is a thankless job, fighting crime incognito. I never truly get the recognition or compensation I deserve. So when you wake up in the morning, and your kids bike that was left in the front yard is still there, your unlocked car has not been trashed, and your women have not been pillaged in the middle of the night…well you have me to thank for that.

Be that as it may, my nightly prowess at thwarting evil villains and their various nefarious schemes is not the topic of this Schiddy rant. Far be it for me to blow my own horn, or blow my secret identity as The Batman. This Schiddy will instead focus on an equally important part of Batman lore and culture. That is, the forgotten art of how to play Batman and Robin.

When I was a young lad growing up in N.E. Rochester, I spent the day at a family day care provider affectionately dubbed, “Gramma Carrol.”. From the time I was a baby until kindergarten, my sister and I spent most weekdays at her house between the hours of 8:00am and 3:00pm. At Gramma Carrol's I primarily played three games: Cowboys and Indians, Play Dough, and Batman and Robin. Oh, occasionally we would play Underdog and Sweet Polly Purebred to mix it up a little (our version of “doctor”), Once in a while the Jodi, the girl down the street would come over with her Gumby and Pokey dolls and we would play with those, (another version of “doctor”) but that was a fairly rare. For the most part those first 3 activities were our main events.
Playing Cowboys and Indians was pretty lame. You really do need several people to have a good game of cowboys and Indians, otherwise with this war-type game you have too many imaginary participants and it gets pretty abstract for a 3 or 4 year old. I could handle it, but my play mates did not seem to understand how I could shoot hundreds of pretend Indians, get three or four imaginary arrows shot into me, but just have “flesh wounds” and still end up being the hero.
Then of course there was Play Dough. Oh how I loved the smell of fresh Play dough in the morning. Unfortunately I loved it a little too much, and Gramma Carrol would have to keep and eye on me so I did not eat the whole jar. The Play Dough with the Red dye in it was the best. Yum yum. Shortly after I started eating red Play Dough I started to grow a third nipple, but that’s another story for another time.
But of course the coolest, most fun game was Batman and Robin. You only need three people to play, and in a pinch you could use two. Here are the rules of engagement, Circa Rochester Mn, 1969.
Hank has to be Batman. Why? Because it is my game.
Little Annie Haugen was usually Robin. Why? She was a year younger than me, and if she could understand me, she usually did what I told her to do. (Sidebar: when little Annie grew up, she became this totally beautiful high school student who would not give me the time of day, and usually looked at me with scorn. She actually ended up going to the U. of M. when I also was attending it, and again continued to ignore me and give me looks of distain when I would see her on campus. The reason for this may become apparent as these rules are listed.)
You had to have capes. You simply can not play Batman and Robin without a cape. Towels, piece of material…whatever, this prop is essential.
You had to try to run as fast as you could to make the cape fly up behind as you ran. Just like in the comic books. Way cool. Again, if you can not make that cape flutter up behind you…you might as well not even play. Because capes are cool.
Masks were cool as well, but not essential. We all knew who Batman was, after all. (see the first rule).
You need access to a phone or a prop you can pretend is a phone. Otherwise #7 is not possible.
Your adventure starts by sitting around the Bat Cave. Then the red Bat Phone rings. This phone is directly connected to Commissioner Gordon’s office.
When the phone rings, you must pick it up in a very serious voice and say, “Yes Commissioner Gordon.” Pause, and then say “We’ll be right there.” Then you slam the phone down and say, “To the Bat mobile!” From there you sprint back and forth through several rooms, running fast enough to make your cape fly out behind you, until you reach a piece of furniture that is now the Batmobile.
As you run to the Batmobile with your cape flying behind you because you are running at super speed, you must loudly Sing, “Da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, da da, BATMAN and ROBIN!” really loud.
Batman always drives the Bat mobile. Sorry Annie no you can not drive. And no, you can not be Bat Girl instead of Robin!
Upon arriving at Police Commissioner Gordon’s office, you learn the dastardly deed that has been committed, and which Arch villain has committed it. Usually the Joker, the Penguin, Riddler, or Catwoman are responsible for the heinous act(s).
Following the visit to Commissioner Gordon’s office, Batman and Robin head back to the Bat Cave to press some buttons on a big electronic panel that may or may not be a computer..., which somehow gives you the location of the bad guy’s hide out. This forensic tactic is widely practiced today; I see it all the time on CSI Miami. Batman and Robin were way ahead of there time.
It is nice to have an actual person now enter the game as the arch villain, but not necessary. A throw pillow or big stuff animal can also function as the villain, in which case Hank will make the villain’s voice and dialogue. Also in the process of catching the arch villain, there should usually be at least two knock down drag out fist fights where Batman and Robin battle with various dastardly villain and there villainous thugs (other throw pillows or what have you). A good Super Hero punch should actually have enough force to propel the pillow (villain) across the room, where they will land unconscious. As they are pillows, sometime it is hard for even imaginative Batman and Robins to tell, so it may require several punches with Super Hero level impact to secure victory.
Batman always gets to put the final punch on the Arch Villain. Robin is a side-kick after all. And no Annie you can not be Catwoman.
You can take a break in the game for Gramma Carroll’s sugar cookies and milk.
And the most important rule of all…when you grow up you must pass the game and rules of engagement on to your children. Now… “To the Batmobile!!!!!!”